I know, I know. I write about being an introvert a lot. Well, I've been thinking recently about other aspects of my personality after reading an entire blog post about my Myers-Briggs type, INFJ. You can read that here. Apparently, it is the rarest type, containing about 1-3% of the population.
It was fascinating to read another person's writing on her personality and see it match so perfectly with mine. I've accepted the fact that I'm an introvert, but I've recently been having a hard time with the way that I am when it comes to making decisions.
For instance. I feel things very deeply. I am sensitive. I get hurt easily. I worry about what others think of me. I worry about other people. I hurt for other people. I wonder how my decisions will affect other people.
I have a difficult time stepping back and being logical, because I am feeling so much and wondering how other people feel.
This is a result of my last two letters, FJ. They stand for Feeling and Judging. I'm empathetic.
I've always sort of felt that this is a character flaw. I'm jealous of people who are more logical. Who don't seem to care what others think of them. Who don't worry. Here I am, taking on other people's problems as well as my own while over-analyzing interactions. Playing conversations over and over again in my mind, hoping that I come across well.
Goodness, even my blog is careful. I write to entertain, to make people smile. I stay away from controversy and my posts aren't typically very deep. If you're looking for personal thoughts and deep reflections, you've come to the wrong place. I don't easily "put myself out there," especially to a bunch of people that I don't know online. I'll share more one-on-one. Once we have built up a great deal of trust. The last thing I want is to be criticized when it comes to my thoughts and emotions. So I'm careful.
It was very comforting to read this post about this other INFJ woman. She understands what it's like to keep people at a distance. To choose not to share my true feelings, except to a very few. Under very special, specific circumstances.
It's kind of funny, caring about people so much from a distance. It might appear that I'm unconcerned. But I notice people's feelings more than I notice what color eyes they have. (Seriously, I don't know anyone's eye colors.)
When I was little, I remember having to leave the room while my family was watching a movie because I knew a certain part was coming up. It was a part where a character was embarrassed. I don't remember the particulars, but I remember feeling so strongly this character's embarrassment that I couldn't even watch it play out.
So it can be hard interacting with people. I'm an introvert, and I'm sensitive, and I care deeply how others feel and perceive me. This is especially difficult when I disagree with someone, as I despise conflict. However, I am able to identify with others. I know what I believe and I may disagree with you, but I can put myself in your place. And if it turns out I'm wrong about something, I'm mortified. The last thing I want to do is hurt someone, because I know how much I fear being hurt.
Wow, this is sort of deep. But it feels good to think through it, then write it down. And share it, cautiously, with you.
I'd encourage you to find out more about yourself. Really think about how you make decisions, how you interact with others.
And let me know your type below!
6 comments:
ESFJ. Love the post, Laura. :-)
I always identified as an INFP, but last year my best friend wrongly (or so I thought) guessed that I was INFJ.
Now I see that she may be correct! In retaking the test, it's coming out INFJ. (Although the P/J balance is 40/60; a much closer call than my other letters.) How interesting.
http://typelogic.com/infj.html
me too [:
Cool!
Yeah, the link I posted was to the unofficial, shortened, knock-off version of the Myers-Briggs...but it's definitely better to take the official one if possible. :)
I found this in another Google search for further info on my type. That's an INFJ for you - always searching. =)
I really get a lot of what you're saying. I think that is why there are more than a few INFJ groups around on the internet. We need to stick together. The yearning to know and be known is strong. The need to feel understood and not judged for it is even stronger.
I too have seen my feeling side as a weakness. I hate the way I have to work through the emotion first before I can process something. I've realised though it is necessary for me to function that way and maybe I should just own that and not keep trying to be like everyone else.
Thanks for posting this!
Thanks for stopping by, melbo! I know what you mean - I love identifying with others of my type. For years I thought certain ways that I would feel or respond to things were wrong just because they were different than most people.
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