Smoooooooooooooth

So, I'm really into smoothies right now.

I tried to get into smoothies a couple months ago, but they are hard to get down when a person is already cold. I can't barely feel my hands in this stinkin' March weather. Oh well, might as well numb my mouth, too...

Smoothies are an excellent way to eat a lot of fruit. All at once. Without having to chew much. Not that I have trouble chewing or anything. It's just fun to sip smoothies. And mine are usually so thick it's like eating healthy ice cream.

Smoothies are handy too if you have fruit that doesn't taste the best. Like peaches that are hard on one side and mushy on the other. Or strawberries you picked that are a little small and not too sweet.

Just blend it all up, baby.

Here are the fruits (so far) that I've tried in a smoothie. In various combinations:

bananas
strawberries
grapes
peaches
avacados
blueberries

I'll splash a little milk or plain yogurt in there, but I don't add anything else. All natural.

Here's my hot tip: freeze all your fruit. Or at least some of it. I hate blending up ice cubes 'cause they're so hard and difficult. Also they water down a smoothie. If you use frozen fruit, you eliminate these problems. Easier to blend and not watery.

Yum! Sometimes I feel like I use my blender several times a day. It's a pain to wash, but worth it. I've also been using it to blend frozen banana chunks into a kind of ice cream (seriously, it works and is amazing) and to make hummus.

If you don't use your blender that often, I say bring it out and give it a try! You may make a delicious discovery.

Do You Smell That?

If books and movies are returned to the library with a foul odor, it's because of one of two things.

-lots of cats

-lots of smoking

Those stinks stick around, is all I'm saying.

I'll be casually walking towards the book drop, innocent and carefree. I get closer, reach out my hands, and WHAM.

Are you kidding me right now?!

At this point, my choices are:

-stop breathing, dig the material out, and figure out some way to clean it

-drop my arms, back away slowly, and pretend I never saw it. perhaps whistling softly will help...

Gross. Gross, gross, gross, gross.

If you have fifteen cats? Come on. We can tell. Everyone around you can tell. One should not. have. that. many. cats. And if you do have a bunch of cats (a gaggle? a herd?), don't borrow things that don't belong to you and make them smell bad. Thanks for that.

If you're a smoker? Ugh. I'm sure you don't notice anymore, but everything you touch now smells. It makes me want to cough obnoxiously in your face. I'm sorry you can't stop, but I wish you hadn't started. Why are people still doing this to themselves? Haven't you seen the pictures? This is a healthy lung. This is a smoker's lung...

It's just a shame that people can't return material in the condition they took it out. Because of their SMELL.

We at the library know who you are, fyi. We try to clean up your mess, and sometimes we charge you. And that's an awkward conversation, believe me.



Okay, okay. Rant over. There will be a more fun blog post on Friday. Pinky promise.

Run Along...

So I FINALLY went out and got some real running shoes over the weekend. The pair I've been using were just some random sneakers I got who-knows-where, who-knows-how-long-ago.

I walked into Dick's Sporting Goods, strutting down the aisles confidently, as if I am the type of super-athlete that regularly shops there. As I checked out the dozens upon dozens of different shoes, I kept my list of qualifications in mind. After all, these sneakers had to be perfect.

Criteria for Running Shoes
1. Must be relatively inexpensive.
2. Must be for running in particular.
3. Must be pink.

So, there you have it. My secret wish for the perfect pair of sneakers was that they be pink. I've drooled long enough over every other pair of pink sneakers at the gym. Time to have my own!

I got Asics brand sneakers, on sale, obviously. And they have so much cushioning! I tried them out yesterday on the treadmill whille watching Amazing Race and it was like running on a field of marshmallows. Ah, bliss. They make me wonder why I stuck with my old sneakers for so long!

Here's a picture. Cute, right?

I Could've Been 106

So I took this health quiz to discover how long I would live.

As it turns out, I do a lot of things right. I don't eat much red meat, I exercise a lot, I don't smoke, I get enough sleep...

And my score was 103! I'm going to live to be 103! That should be interesting. Can't say I'm really looking forward to it, but it is an impressive number.

The thing is, I could've lived to be 106. But I don't floss.

I confess this with a definite amount of shame. I'm a clean person. I brush my teeth a lot. But I've never gotten into the habit of flossing.

Usually, the only times I floss for a couple weeks at a time is after I've gone to the dentist and been scared into it. That flossing zeal usually fades after a while. I can't seem to stay with it.

I've written before about what agony it is now to brush for two whole minutes. And now I need to add flossing as well? I'm a big multitasker. If I'm watching something on my computer, I have to be cleaning my room or writing an email or putting on my makeup at the same time. And I'm always in the middle of several books at once.

When I'm brushing my teeth or flossing my teeth, I can't really do anything else at the same time. I'm trapped. And that can be a really frustrating experience.

But maybe I'll give it another go anyway. I mean, 106...



This woman looks a little too thrilled to be flossing, if you ask me.

A Cycling We Will Go...

So, I go to a cycling class once a week at the gym. The gym has quite a few different classes, but I like this one because:


1. You don't need any extra equipment.
2. Cycling doesn't involve too much coordination, so I'm not jumping around in front of a mirror embarassing myself and others.
3. I get to be relatively anonymous in a dark room with all the bikes in a circle.
4. The music is loud and distracting.
5. I like to have someone else telling me how hard to push instead of challenging myself all the time.

So, cycling class. Good stuff.

But in reference to #4, a lot of times a really good song will come on and I just want to sing along. Which would be kind of weird. Because whenever someone does look like they're singing along a little bit, I make fun of them in my head.

And yet I just want to do the same thing. I have a problem, because whenever a decently good song comes on that I actually know the WORDS to, the desire to sing along is overwhelming. So I have to hold back quite a bit in that cycling class.

I guess I can just take out my frustration by pedaling harder or something.

Snackin' on Healthy Food is What We Like to Do...

(This blog title is from a Barney song. A song I think of practically every time I think about eating healthy.)

Eating something healthy does not cancel out eating something, um, not healthy. But it makes you feel a little bit better.

Eating healthy things is difficult in the winter, when all you may want to do is huddle under a blanket and eat comforting sorts of foods. Fruits and vegetables aren't as readily available as they are in the summer.

I've been finding lots of good recipes lately, though, that help make me a little more enthusiastic about eating things that are good for me. The trouble is, making good food from scratch with fresh ingredients takes more work and more time. Certainly more time than heating up macaroni and cheese or opening a box of Oreos...

But in the long run, it's worth it. What I put into my body now affects the rest of my life. I need good fuel, not a quick salty or sweet fix.

I found this delicious recipe from allrecipes.com and modified it slightly.

Banana Bran Muffins

Ingredients:

1 cup buttermilk

1 ½ cups wheat bran

1 egg

2/3 cup packed brown sugar

1/3 cup unsweetened applesauce

1 ripe banana, mashed

½ teaspoon vanilla extract

¾ cup whole wheat flour

½ cup oat bran

1 teaspoon baking soda

1 teaspoon baking powder

½ cup chopped walnuts

½ cup raisins

¼ cup coconut

Directions:

1. Preheat oven to 400 degrees F. Grease muffin cups or line with liners.

2. In medium bowl, mix buttermilk with wheat bran. In another bowl, beat together egg, sugar, applesauce, banana, and vanilla.

3. In a large bowl, stir together flour, oat bran, baking soda, and baking powder. Stir buttermilk mixture and egg mixture into flour mixture until flour is just moistened. Stir in walnuts, raisins, and coconut. Spoon batter into muffin cups.

4. Bake in preheated oven for 15-20 minutes, until toothpick used to test comes out clean.

Next time, I'm going to add less sugar and see how that goes. The original recipe called for blueberries, but I added raisins and coconut instead because I had a bad blueberry/bran muffin experience. Also, I always use 1 cup skim milk mixed with 1 tablespoon vinegar instead of buttermilk, because we never have any around.

Enjoy!

I'm So Over You, Winter

Oh, the winter months.

Now that Christmas is a distant memory, winter is basically pointless now. Sure, all that snow that nearly everyone just got was fun, but seriously. It's time for spring.

It's strange how, in the winter, I feel like I don't remember what it's like to try and fall asleep on those hot summer nights. Or what it's like to see grass. Or hear birds. Or smell someone else's barbecue and wish it was yours...

My hands are ready to be warm again.

My eyes are ready to be blinded by the sun again.

My feet are ready to flip and flop.

My bright white legs are ready to be seen by the world - okay, never mind. Forget that last one.

I heard this February is going to be pretty warm. And the groundhog didn't see his shadow, so I think that's a good thing. But whatever; I've never claimed to be an expert in weather prediction or, um, groundhogs.

I'm ready to run outside again! Come on, spring! I'm getting antsy!

And I'm not alone. The library was packed yesterday with people trying to get over cabin fever, loading up on books to make up for the few lonely days they were trapped inside. Seriously. The parking lot was FULL yesterday. We had a snow day and a half, and the community missed us! And you'll miss us more if libraries disappear.

But this post isn't about library funding. It's about spring!

And nothing says spring like those cute little spring-themed M&Ms with bunnies and ducks and sheep... Hurry up, spring!

I Scare Myself Sometimes

For what must be the 78th time today, I raise my bright yellow "tumbler" to my lips, anticipating the tasteless liquid within. I tip back, open wide, and

proceed to spill water down my face. Or choke on it. One of the two.

Honestly, you would think that an action I have spent over twenty years perfecting would come a little more naturally.

"Oh, is this your first time drinking water?"

"Well, no, I've been doing it for over twenty years, I just - "

"I'm sorry, twenty years?"

*silence*

This rarely happens when it comes to other menial actions.

She freezes in front of the faucet, a confused look on her face. "I...I can't remember how to turn it on!"

Come on, now. Drinking water shouldn't be a new adventure. Learning how to run a snowblower should be. Coincidentally, I learned how to use one the other day.

Maybe that's it. Maybe I just learn so many new things each day, my brain can't contain the instruction manuals for those old, practiced actions.

I guess I should do more crossword puzzles so my brain doesn't turn to mush.

Even this little girl has better sipping skills than me.

Snap, Crackle, Pop

I crack my knuckles. So what're you gonna do about it?

I can understand if you are sincerely bothered by it. To some people, I might as well be screeching my nails down a chalkboard or picking my nose. I understand irritation. I try and remember who NOT to do it around.

But those people so concerned about my getting arthritis... Concerned eyes. Halting, sympathetic advice. Honestly. I'm just cracking my knuckles, not running back and forth across a busy street for kicks. If I do that, feel free to admonish me. Google it; there's no proof of arthritis caused by cracking your knuckles.

What else am I supposed to do when I'm bored or nervous? I could be a kleptomaniac. I could be a compulsive cartwheeler.

Besides, I can stop anytime.

I just don't feel like stopping right now...

Two Minutes of Dental Hygiene

I got a "Sonicare" toothbrush for Christmas. It's this big honkin' high-tech looking toothbrush that comes with a charger and handy travel case.

The first time I used it, I turned it on outside of my mouth. The toothpaste flipped onto the floor.

There's a timer on this thing that goes off after two minutes. Brushing for two minutes using this toothbrush made me realize that I have probably never brushed my teeth for two minutes in my entire life.

Two minutes may not seem very long, but when there's a reverberating toothbrush in your mouth, two minutes seems more like thirty-two minutes of wet, toothpastey boringness.

La la la la la...maybe I should pace back through the hallway again. Hm. Has this picture always looked so crooked? There. That's better... Why isn't this thing turning off yet?

Time stands still for those two minutes. It's just me, this heavy toothbrush, and drool running down my chin.

Post-Christmas, Or, Now What?

The days right after Christmas are kind of like Mondays after weekends. Times a hundred.

You get  kind of confused, like what's work? What's healthy food? What's exercise?

I ate some raw vegetables last night and marveled at the freshness of them. My stomach is like, Where's the butter? Where's the chocolate coating? Where's the whipped cream on top?

I got up this morning and ran. My legs wondered, Where's the couch? Where're the pajama pants? Why are we moving so fast when there're no Christmas cookies ahead of us?

Come on now, you spoiled body! Get back into your routine! Here we go!

Well, my Christmas was lovely and I had a great time with family and friends. The anticipation of Christmas always makes me wild with excitement, so now there's a little getting used to normal life again.

Now comes the tough part. Now we slog through these remaining winter months without Christmas to look forward to anymore.

Time to buckle down and embrace the Monday.

If chocolate helps you deal, so be it. Nothing to be ashamed of.

Sharing Does Not Apply Here

Don't cough into your hand.

The hand you touch things with. The hand you touch people with.

Didn't anyone teach you this? Don't you know how gross and unnecessary it is?

I'm not super concerned about germs. I wash my hands and use hand sanitizer, but I don't lie awake worrying about germs getting me. Exposure to germs keeps your immune system strong.

But coughing into your hand? Nasty.

Don't you know why God created elbows? Let me inform you.

1. To hold a baby's head.

2. To support your arms on the table. Or not, if you think that's rude.

3. To propel your way through a crowd, such as on upcoming Black Friday.

4. To cough into.



An elbow is perfect to cough (or sneeze!) into.  You're containing the germs, because how many times do you reach for things with your elbow?

Here is an important side note: Elbow usage can't be combined. You can only use your elbows for one thing at a time. That means, no coughing into your elbow if it contains a baby. And, obviously, no elbowing people around you at the table.

Have some common sense! Use the elbows God gave you! Don't cough into your hand, touch something, and then try to give me that something!

Pass it on.