The Energetic Librarian

I'm typically in a pretty good mood at work.

In fact, when I'm not, my coworkers tend to get concerned.

I'm a positive person, I have more energy each day from exercise and eating right, and I love my job.

Library patrons really respond well when I'm extra nice and interested in them. I know, I know. Not rocket science. Sometimes it can be hard to do, but it's gratifying seeing people leave with smiles on their faces.

Not to mention that being smiley and sympathetic helps keep people from seeing me as a mean librarian nazi.

For instance, when it comes to:

• technological problems (*ahem* ebooks *ahem*)
• collecting library fines (you only have yourself to blame, but okay)
• tax forms (I hate this time of year...)

all unpleasantness.

But sometimes people just want a listening ear. They want someone to say I'm sorry, I know this stinks. I also am not a fan of the IRS, or the fact that downloading ebooks from the library site is SO MUCH more difficult than checking out a physical book.

I'm getting better at reading people, and being able to judge whether or not they can take a joke.

My favorite is when a person will tell me to keep the change, or drop some change in the donation container and the amount is really tiny. I like to enthusiastically exclaim, as a guy drops one or two pennies in there, that now we will finally be able to add our new library wing!

I know, I know. But I'm the sarcastically hilarious librarian! They can't help but love me! 

Source

May I Not Be Able to Help You?

I wish I could write more on here! But I've been so busy with school. And work.

Oh, forget it. I'm just going to tell you what I told my diary when I was ten. "I'm not going to keep apologizing for not writing more!"

Of course then, I was busy with my full-time job of playing with Barbies.
...

So it was pretty crazy at the library over the weekend. On Friday morning the server went down for our entire county library system.

No catalog, no renewals, no holds, no checking in material..... This happens on occasion. We're limited for a couple hours. But not this time. All weekend we were down. Friday, Saturday, Sunday, and Monday. On Monday at 8:30 pm everything came back up.

All day Tuesday we played catch-up, going through hundreds and hundreds of books and movies and CDs.

But let's go back to Saturday. I work one Saturday a month, and of course it's the day when I can basically do nothing for people. And this is tough. I mean, I work at a library! To have to turn so many requests down put me in a bitter mood. Luckily, we had an offline option so we could check out material using a patron's library card. That was the one thing we could do! And people could still study, read newspapers, use computers, etc.

So most of the time I had to spend apologizing to people. And asking "may I help you?" ironically. It was a sad, sad, day. The one highlight was being able to help people without using computers and feeling like Super Librarian. I surprised myself at how well I know authors and dewey decimal numbers, and was able to lead people right to where they needed to go.

On the whole, though, not my favorite weekend. We are crippled without our computer system.

And of course people didn't read all the signs we had posted, and still asked us to do things we couldn't do. And everyone wanted to know if they'd get fines for material we couldn't check in yet (no) or if they could renew their items (no) or if we could check on a hold for them (no) or if we were having a hard time (YES).

Thankfully, all is back to normal. And last night, after a full day of madness plus three and a half hours of homework plus an hour of Pottermore (really? new chapters are open NOW? well, I have to read everything obviously), I dreamed all night about not getting enough sleep.

And now let's do it all again!

How to Check Out a Book at the Library

Sure, you've done it before. But have you done it correctly?

Step 1: Pick out your book. Pick out a mystery, a graphic novel, a memoir, a book of poetry. Browse the stacks until you find just the perfect read. Ask your friendly librarian for suggestions if you find yourself whining that everything you pick out is boring.

Step 2: Pick out another book. What if the first book isn't quite what you thought it would be? Or you read the first book too quickly? Honestly, it's just foolishness to leave the library with a single book. Be smart and get a back-up.

Step 3: Go to the circulation desk. Be mindful of those around you. Don't cut anyone else off. And it's nice to offer your spot to a harried mother with seven children hanging off her. Other than that, wait in line for your turn. Or, if your library is dying because no one wants to read anymore, step right up and enjoy the great service of three librarians all wanting to socialize and thank you for still coming. Haha...

Step 4: Present your library card. Don't be surprised that you are asked for it. If you're a patron of excellence, you have your card in your hand right away. Don't be the person who doesn't have your card...or your driver's license...wait, you're driving without a license AND without a library card? Good luck out there, man.

Step 5: Don't forget your receipt! It's given to you for a reason. Don't lose it and then feign innocence when you return items late (I mean "if"). And don't take your receipt, look at it, and then ask when your items are due. What do you think I'm handing you exactly?

Step 6: Walk out the door with your FREE books! And don't forget to come back now, you hear?

I mean, you'll have to. To return them.

7 Secrets Your Librarian Won't Tell You

You ever read Reader's Digest? It may be for old people (as evidenced by the certain types of medical advertisements), but I read it when I can get my hands on it. I've seen articles about what your waiter/house cleaner/mall Santa/flight attendant won't tell you, and I keep waiting to see a librarian version.

As I have yet to see one, I thought I'd create my own. If you read this blog, you probably already know more than the average library patron. But here's a quick list of secrets for you anyway.

1. We talk about you. It's a customer service job, and we get to know the customers. We talk about you if you're nice, we talk about you if you're mean, we talk about you if you're weird. If we don't talk about you, you're really, really average.

2. We will work with you. We want you to have a good library experience. If you have legitimate reasons for wanting us to reduce your fine, speak up! If you can't pay everything all at once, let us know. Our job is to make you have happy at the library so you'll come back. And bring your children. And friends. And donations.

3. We don't get to read books all day. We all have responsibilities other than standing at the desk and waiting on you. To stay up-to-date on current books, we put them on hold and check them out and read in the evenings just like everybody else.

4. We won't shush you. All right, sometimes we will. If you are being unreasonably loud, we'll ask you to keep it down for the benefit of people around you. But more and more, public libraries are becoming community centers. We want people to come visit, so we encourage things like live music in the library once a month. If you want an ultra-quiet study room, try a university library.

5. We know a lot. What we don't know, we'll find out for you. Seriously, take advantage of your librarians! Make friends with us, give us cookies, get to know us. When you have a major paper to write and need research assistance, you can count on us.

6. Being a true librarian requires a masters degree. Yes, this is a real job. People on staff at libraries often have multiple, varied responsibilities. We help you find books, we help kids with research, we run programs, create flyers, manage book and monetary donations, keep up with social media, catalog items, repair books, prepare crafts, learn the new technology so we can teach you...we do it all. (The plan is for me to earn a masters degree in the near future, fyi.)

7. Sure we're concerned about libraries "dying out." But most of us are hopeful. After all, time and time again people have said the library wouldn't make it. Like when the internet got big, for example. But we're still here and we're making ourselves needed. More people than ever are coming to the library for job searches, eBooks, school projects, community events, story times, even just reading the newspaper. I feel passionately about what the library can do for every person in the community, and I'll talk to anyone who'll listen about it.

Well, that's all I got for now! Maybe there will be a part two in the future.

Enjoy your library.

Monkey See, Monkey Do

So I was behind the desk at the library and got to listen in on this gem told by a mother to her kid, who must've been misbehaving in some way:

"The librarian's going to yell at you. They won't let you come back to the library."

Excuse me?

You're going to point to the librarian as a type of bogeyman to threaten your kids with? And this isn't even the first time I've heard comments like this. Is it any wonder that so many kids don't see how the library is relevant to their lives? Sure, if you see librarians as the bad guys who want to squelch all your fun, of course the library will seem like a dismal place.

Dear parents: Your kids are learning from you. Whether they're watching what you do or listening to what you blatantly say. This includes your feelings towards the library. For instance, if you stand in front of us lying to get out of a fine in front of your child, what exactly do you think you're teaching her?

I've seen too many parents here negatively contributing to how their kids view the library. It baffles me, because HELLO this is a free, awesome place. 

Obviously, most parents are great about showing their kids a good time in the library. I'm picking on a small percentage here. Nothing makes me happier than hearing parents getting their kids excited about finding books. Moms reading to their kids in the children's area. Dads bringing their kids to story time. My favorite is whole families coming together to the library.

So please don't spoil the library for your kids!

I Know What You're Going to Say

No, stop. You don't even need to open your mouth.

Let me guess, you have a question about the library.

Yeah yeah, I know I'm a genius. How could I possibly guess that you would ask me a library-related question while we're here at the gym/church/grocery store/party? Um, because you know I work at the library and when you see me you are reminded of a fine you have. Or a question about eBooks. Or an experience you had the last time you were at the library.

Go on, just get it out. I'm used to it.

It's funny how often this happens to me. I guess it's just life, how when you're a grown-up people define you by the job you have. During small talk time (when really I would just rather sit in comfortable silence), a lot of times people will look at me and realize they still have a pile of books to return.

I guess I should be glad I'm not a nurse. "So, seeing you reminds me of this rash I have...will you take a look?"

So ask away! I love answering questions, you know that. Better yet, let's transition into seventy-five reasons why I love the library, and why I think every person should be going at least every week.

Wait, where are you going? You started it!

The Kindly Librarian

I'm too nice.

Librarians are too nice.

And sometimes, certain patrons like to take advantage of that niceness.

They're used to us being very accomodating. Doing whatever we can to make them happy. Going above and beyond to get them what they want. Because that's our job!

And also, I love it. I enjoy it. I like to make people happy in the library.

But, sometimes I don't make people happy in the library. I get to tell them fun things like, "You have $40 in fines," while cringing and expecting an argument.

Some patrons just get this shocked look on their faces, like, all of a sudden this kindly librarian is giving them bad news. But the library's supposed to be a happy place! Everything's supposed to be free!

Well, it is. As long as you follow the rules. You will never have to pay a dime if you return things on time.

And now you have a fine because you forgot about the 16 dvds you checked out three weeks ago.

I'm sorry. This is my fault, how?

And then the expectant look. "Fix it, you kindly librarian!"

It doesn't work that way, buddy.

And suddenly, the kindly librarian grows a monstrous, fire-breathing head. A claw reaches out and grips the patron's shirt in a threatening sort of way.

Not really. But the patron responds as if that's the way we act. When all we really want is to give people free books and avoid confrontation.

If I'm seen as mean or unaccomodating because I follow the rules, so be it. I'm a protector of the books!

The Refreshing Library Patron

You came in looking so sad. A woman with a crestfallen look on her face. You said, "I got a letter about my book being late. I'm so sorry! I'll pay the fine right now!"

What?! How refreshing! You mean you're not going to glare at me like I'M the one who:

-lent it to my irresponsible neighbor?
-lost it under my bed for 3 months?
-thought I was so important that at I could just return material when I chose?

Wow, you're nice. You're actually going to apologize for the inconvenience of having to send a letter? You'r not going to demand to speak to the director? Question my intelligence? Ask for proof of the fine so you can catch me in some kind of deception?

No, really, it's okay, nice woman. We're not mad and judgmental, just glad you brought it back! AND, you're going to pay the fine without whining? You're awesome.

Would you please stay at the library forever and be an example to some *ahem* other patrons who don't have your same attitude? Those patrons who think they are entitled to take advantage of the library by arguing over deserved fines? Who think that somehow because our services are free, we should just let you walk all over us?

Mini library rant, here.

April Fools' and Stuff

Possible April Fools' Tricks to Play on Patrons at the Library:

1. Tell people who don't have a fine that they have one. (And be mean about it.)

2. Tell people who have a fine that their account has been cleared by an anonymous person. (Then laugh at them when they come back another day.)

3. Explain to people that they now have to pay to rent movies and books. "Libraries aren't what they used to be, buddy!"

4. And if they complain, look around quickly, give them their items in a paper bag, and tell them to "make a run for it!"

5. Tell quiet people to "Shhhhhhhh!"

6. Tell loud people to "speak up, we're in a library for goodness sakes!"

7. When everyone comments on the snow that's currently falling, say, "What snow? It's spring!" Insist that there is no snow falling. Because there's NOT.

8. Act like a robot. Put up a sign that says that, since people seem to think that ANYone can do a librarian's job, we've just been replaced.

9. Run through the aisles screaming and pulling books off the shelves. See how far you can get before you are tackled to the floor by a well-meaning patron.

10. Hide behind the book drop slot and grab patrons' hands as they try to return books.

Well, these certainly sound like fun, but I have a certain reputation at the library that I'd like to maintain. And it doesn't involve lying and acting like a maniac. To be honest, April Fools' Day isn't really one of my favorite days. Facebook is a mess. People act all goofy. And I'm always jealous that I'm not creative enough to do anything good...

I hate chocolate!

April Fools'.

Whew, that's over with.

Why, Hello There!

Answering the phone at the library can be pretty risky.

Oh, most of the time you get your basic questions:

"Can I renew my books?"

"When is this due?"

"What time is this event?"

"How late are you open tonight?"

But answering the phone is still risky. Because when you pick up the phone and ask if you can help somebody, you become responsible. You have to carry through and help the patron until the bitter end of the conversation. Or until you "accidentally" get disconnected...No; I've never actually done that. Just considered it.
So here are a few examples of those more "special" calls:

1. As soon as you see one snowflake gently drift through the sky and fall to the ground, you can bet you'll soon have to answer 37 calls about whether or not the library is still open or if the library still charges fines if patrons can't bring their items in "because of the snow." Get a grip, people! Let's just wait and see! This call isn't so bad because it's short and to the point.

2. "My name is Shkilwenf Nsdfeinkncv." "I was wondering xzcxvi wfaerifj and aoweriwer shmfiwefe." Great. Whether it's a bad connection, a person with a mumbling problem, or a long, complicated name, this call is sure to be challenging. You can fake your way only so far with this call; sooner or later you have to give them an answer. Just pray that by some miracle you'll hit on the right name or solution.

3. It seems to be easier for some people to be rude on the phone. Maybe because instead of being confronted by a librarian's innocent face and friendly smile, they only have a voice on the other line. As soon as you answer the phone, you can tell that they have some kind of problem. Most likely unrelated to the library. All you can do on your side is be pleasant while making faces to release some of the stress.

4. "May I ask who I'm speaking with?" Great. They just asked your name. What does this mean? Are they pleased with the exceptional service? Or will this conversation come back to haunt you? Should you give a fake name? No. Say your name with pride. You've done nothing wrong! As soon as you hang up, though, play back the entire conversation in your mind, just to make sure.

5. You've just assisted a patron over the phone. All of a sudden, the line goes dead. You say "goodbye" to no one. What, does no one practice good telephone manners anymore?

Some of my favorite phone conversations are the random ones, like the woman who called to confirm the spelling of a word, or the mom who needed a recipe for baking pumpkin seeds. It's always fun to talk to someone who is sincerely thankful for the help. Those good conversations make the difficult ones a little easier to deal with. And as for the weird conversations? They just make for good stories.

The Five Stages of Grief: The Library Version

After I get the pleasure of informing a patron of a library fine, the situation usually goes one of two ways.

The patron pays the fine, or the patron progresses through the five stages of grief.

1. Denial: "What? That's not possible. I always bring my books back on time. This is obviously a mistake on your part. I remember the day I brought the books back. It was a Thursday...there is NO way I have a fine."

2. Anger: "You know, this isn't the first time you've been wrong. One time the library said I didn't return a book then someone FOUND IT ON THE SHELF.  No one told me I had a fine. I wasn't notified. And now I have to pay this fine before I can check anything else out? That's completely unreasonable. Is there anyone else I can talk to?"

3. Bargaining: "Come one, now. I've never had a fine before. Can I just check these movies out and worry about the fine later? Give me a break. I just remembered that my child was sick with the flu that day. And there was a snowstorm. And my wallet was stolen. One thing I always appreciate about the library staff is how understanding they are..."

4. Depression: "This day just keeps getting worse. Everything is going wrong. And now I have a library fine. How much is it again? Ugh. Why does this always happen to me? Why is everything going wrong?"

5. Acceptance: "Fine. You know what? I had better just pay it. Here you go: $7.25."

All right, it's not that bad. Out of all of our patrons, only a few have real problems with paying their fines. Most are matter-of-fact about it. They understand that the library is awesome because it's free. They're getting free material, with the understanding that they'll cough up a few dollars if they take advantage of the system and don't return things on time.

But once in a while I get to deal with the patrons who think the library is out to get them. This blog post is dedicated to them.

There Are Those

Hey, guys, get ready for a library rant! I’m sure this doesn’t apply to YOU, but feel free to spread the word to those who are without understanding.

Let me just tell you something, disgruntled library patron:

The library is not out to take your money from you.

When you signed that library card application, you agreed to be responsible for the items you checked out. That includes *gasp* paying any FINES you may incur.

When you stand in front of me and argue, whine and yes, even LIE to get out of your fine, you know what I think?

This is the LIBRARY. You can check out as many books, DVDs, talking books, CDs, etc. that you want. You can use our computers. You get friendly service - people eager to help you with your project or research. You have a quiet place to study. You have access to dozens of programs designed to meet your needs. And guess what? It’s FREE.

I’m sorry; you think that you are being dealt with unfairly? Because you borrowed something from us FOR FREE and kept it late, keeping it from other library users who may want to use it?

That’s right, because the library is a conspiracy. You heard it here first. We are here to take your money. The programs for your kids, the free books and movies, the quiet study areas, it’s all just a front for our plot to take your money from you.

So what you hear in the news about libraries receiving less funding? That's never going to change.

Because people like you don't understand what the library really means to your community.

Things Part 2

Things I do NOT enjoy telling library patrons:

1. You have a fine. And it’s a doozy.

2. Your account is blocked.

3. You have been sent to a collection agency.

4. That’s not in the system.

5. You returned the case with nothing inside it.

6. No one found your wallet/keys/paper you left in the copier.

7. You can't make loud phone calls right next to people who are studying.

8. I know you SAY you returned it, but it’s not on the shelf.

9. This item won't renew any more.

10. I just put your name in the list for this book and you’re #127 in the queue.

Things Part 1

Things I enjoy telling library patrons:

1. Library cards are free.

2. Borrowing books/movies/CDs, etc. is free.

3. We have it; it’s right there on the shelf.

4. I love that book! Good choice!

5. Nope – no fine! You returned it just in time.

6. There's no limit to how many items you can check out.

7. Oh, I know which book you're talking about! Here's the title/author/# in the series, etc.

8. You know, we have a program here I think you'll like.

9. Yes, someone did find your wallet/keys/paper left in the copier!

10. The book you've been waiting for is here!