Frosty Is Dead

There are few sights sadder on a cold winter morning than deflated Christmas inflatables.

In the evenings, when it's dark and frosty and magical, these inflatables are, well.... Okay, honestly I'm not a fan of inflatables. But at least when they're blown up they can be kind of cute. Especially the snowglobe ones.

And when you're driving around the wealthy neighborhoods with the big houses to see their ritzy outside displays (what, am I the only one? whatever.), everything looks so perfect in the darkness. The lights, the candles, the wreaths. The reindeer slooooowly raising up their heads. Then slooooowly dropping them back down. Then slooooowly raising them up. Aaaand, well, you know.

And then in the morning? The magic is gone. It's almost embarassing to see those piles of plastic wrapping in a heap. It's like they're naked, lying there. And who wants to see the reindeer that have blown over? Come on, people, get outside and make this stuff presentable!

I found an old blog post that I wrote last year about the five types of houses decorated for Christmas. It's pretty good, honestly. I think you should take a look by clicking here.



Tonight, take a spin around and see some good Christmas decorations! Just keep your eyes straight ahead tomorrow morning. Trust me. It's not pretty.

All Gone.

Aaaand, they're out.

I have no more wisdom teeth. And let me say, it's nice to not have to worry about them any more.

The actual surgeon's visit is kind of a blur. The surgeon was, like, "You'll start feeling a little strange," and I was like, huh, I do feel a little strange and then I was awake with blankets on me. In a different room. Where I then proceeded to have conversations that I only sort of remember, like in a dream.

Monday was pretty weird, as I was numb all day and had to keep gauze in my mouth. Which made it hard for me to speak. And I got to change bloody gauze, which, not gonna lie, was pretty gross. Reason #728 that I'm not in the medical field.

Then Tuesday I woke up and wasn't numb anymore. I was sore. And swollen. And hungry. It's strange not being able to really bite into things. Makes me feel like I'm not really eating. I mean, I'm all for Jell-O, pudding, and yogurt, but I'm craving a steak!

Then Wednesday I was just kind of grouchy. Moving around seemed like such an ordeal, it was better to just recline dramatically on pieces of furniture and stare into the distance, moaning quietly.

And yesterday, Thursday, I was back at work! I was a little cloudy in the morning (yay for pain meds!), and pretty sore when I ate lunch (IF you can call it eating...), but on the whole it was nice to be back to real life.

I can think of worse ways to spend a couple days than lounging with blankets in front of the TV, eating soft foods. On the whole, I'd give the whole experience a solid B.

However, now I'm ready to be done. I'm ready to not have such a square-looking jaw. To not have to remember to take medicine. To not have to say no to crunchy/pokey/hard/delicious foods. To not bleed whenever I try to brush my teeth and to not have to feel weird stitches with my tongue.

Okay, pity party's over! Have a nice weekend, friends! And if you haven't had your wisdom teeth out yet, don't worry. It wasn't that bad. It just made for an interesting blog post.



Also, thank goodness I was out the whole time. I don't really want to know what they had to do to me to get those suckers out.

But I LIKE Them...

Oh, the good old days. When I was wise.

I certainly hope I used my wisdom to the best of my ability. I'm definitely glad I'm done with school.

Because the source of my wisdom will be ripped out of me tomorrow.

Yes, I'm speaking of my wisdom teeth.

Back in April, I posted about wisdom teeth. Back then, I thought maybe I could just keep them forever. No such luck. (Read that post here.)

So now they're coming out. And of course, when people find out they're coming out, they have to share their stories. What is it about wisdom teeth that makes everyone want to share their stories? "Nah nah nah nah naaaaahhhh! I'm not listening to your weird wisdom teeth stories!"

So that's why I'm posting today instead of tomorrow. Not sure when I'll post next. I may be too busy lounging around feeling sorry for myself to write anything. Who really knows?

Of course, I have to share this now.



Aaaand, the remix!



Wish me luck!

I'm Blind! I'm Blind! Oh, Wait.

Sometimes I do things without thinking.

I get into this automatic rhythym of doing things the same way all the time, and I'll get easily thrown by something simple.

Sometimes, when I put my contacts in, I leave my glasses someplace unexpected. Someplace I might not remember later.

Then later, I'll take out my contacts, and this is what goes through my head.

Whoa. Sometimes I forget my eyes are this bad.

I literally can't see the hand in front of my face. (waves hand around in front of face. gets momentarily distracted trying to see things.)

Okay, glasses.

Glasses, glasses, where are you...?

Oh, great.

I'm standing here blind and don't remember where I put my glasses (starts feeling around counters and sinks to find glasses. Wanders into several rooms, arms outstretched, trying to sense where the glasses are.)

How many times am I going to do this before I just keep my glasses in one place?

I am an idiot.

Hey, happy Friday everyone! And happy second day of December! You know what this means? Christmas blog posts! Get excited.

Neville + Trevor = Happiness

There has been a recent development in the life of Neville, my plant.

He has a new friend!

Meet Trevor.

This frog pot was found hanging around the library office, and it was offered to me! I stuck Neville inside and he fit perfectly. They were made for each other!

For obvious reasons, I had to name the frog Trevor. Trevor is, of course, Neville's frog in the Harry Potter series. Hooray for Neville and Trevor!

Now I can't be completely sure of this, but I think that Neville looks a little perkier since he has taken up residence inside Trevor. Not as many dead leaves, and generally not as sarcastic and dismal as he has been.

Everybody needs an understanding friend. Neville may have finally found his.

After the Beep

I'm kind of over answering machines.

While calling library patrons the other day to let them know they had books available to pick up (that they had placed on hold), I realized how stupid answering machines are.

When I call a house and nobody's home, I get one of four things (unless the number has been disconnected):

1. A typical answering machine.
"Hi, you've reached Bob. I can't come to the phone right now, but please leave your name and number and I'll get back to you as soon as I can. Thanks, and have a nice day." Do we really not know what to do yet when we hear an answering machine? Oh no, a beep, what should I say?! Please. Everyone says the same thing, and it's annoying to sit through fifteen of the exact same messages in a row. Just say your name, so I know I called the right place! ...I know this isn't realistic. We all have to be polite and say the same thing on our machines. It just gets old, okay?

2. A creative answering machine.
I use the term "creative" here loosely. Pretty sure I've never heard a GOOD answering machine message. But I have heard some different ones. Of course there's the cutesy one where the little kid garbles her words. Classic. Then there's some crotchety old man who says "you know what to do," or gives some random reason he can't come to the phone. There're the ones where everyone in the family speaks. The strangest one was where I heard parents and their daughter yelling at each other before the father saying they can't come to the phone because they're all at a family counseling session. I would not make that up.

3. No answering machine.
How do you not have an answering machine? It's not like phones are a new invention, here. How long does it take to set one up and record a typical message?

4. Full or nonworking answering machine.
Really? You're that busy your machine is full? Or you're that lazy that you can't be bothered to empty it? Better yet, "the person you are calling has a voicemail box that has not been set up yet. Goodbye!" Wait - what? Now what am I supposed to do?

I think to avoid the whole mess we should just leave texts as messages. Or send an email! Talking on the phone is so awkward anyway. Leaving messages is just ten times worse.

Guilty as Charged

Yes, I have been listening to Christmas music.

A little bit, here and there.

Every year I tell myself I'll wait until after Thanksgiving, but nobody's perfect. I'm only human. I have a crazy Christmas elf trapped inside of me, jingling to get out. Just like everybody else.

Even though I try to wait, certain circumstances require me to listen to Christmas music early. They are:

• Being stressed out. When I'm feeling overwhelmed by the world, relationships, my own irritating thoughts...I break out the Christmas music. When I'm worrying or obssessing, the reassuring voices of Josh Groban, Bing Crosby, and Michael Buble tell me that everything will be just fine.

• Shopping anytime after Halloween (sometimes before). Unless you'd prefer to bring earplugs with you, it's impossible NOT to hear the Christmas music stores start playing. I couldn't believe it when I heard it a couple weeks ago in the mall. I looked around guiltily, a smile already spreading across my face. I developed a spring in my step, a song in my heart, and a desire to buy everything I saw as Christmas presents. Hey...maybe stores are onto something here...

• When it's snowing. We had a freak snowstorm here a few weeks ago and HELLO, you just can't NOT listen to Christmas music! The situation absolutely required it! It's like when you're baking a cake and have to taste the batter. You can't always wait until the cake is done, dude.

• Going to sleep. Heh heh. All right, I'm super guilty of this one. After all, how many times in the last month have I gone to sleep? At least, like, thirty times! When I try to go to sleep, my mind sometimes decides that we have to rehash everything that bothered me or worried me throughout my day. Or I get to re-live conversations where I thought I said something dumb. Shut up, voices in my head! Calming music always helps me relax, and Christmas music is just a festive bonus.

I will unashamedly "officially" turn on the Christmas music the day after Thanksgiving. Or possibly that night. When do you start?