I have to work at it. And it is work.
Being an introvert, my inclination is to hang back and listen. Speak up only when I actually have something to say. Not seek out conversations with strangers. Stuff like that.
But occasionally, I'll be in a situation where I need to be extroverted. I need to take control of a situation and become more talkative.
This is usually because I am with a person or two quieter than me. Like, if I'm the leader of any kind of group. Or I'm trying to help people feel more comfortable. When I'm with those kinds of people...shyer, younger...I have a tendency to suddenly become the life of the party.
I talk so they don't have to. I ask questions and give my opinion and take charge. That's not necessarily my inclination, but sometimes I just do what has to be done.
And let me tell you, being extroverted is an EXERCISE for me. It's like I'm running on adrenaline. My mouth gets dry from all that talking and I can almost see an energy meter dropping until nothing's left.
I can go all out to make quieter people feel included. But it is stressful. And mentally draining. And I tend to feel like the life was just sucked out of me when I have to be an extrovert for a few hours.
That's when I have to do my introvert thing. When it's all over, I just have to go somewhere by myself and recharge. No talking. No smiling. Just thinking. What a relief!
How do some of you do it all the time?!
4 comments:
I would say it is never EASY to be an extrovert when you are doing so SOLELY for the benefit of other people. I consider myself an extrovert (though not an EXTREME extrovert like some), but I also find it exhausting when I have to pull people out of their shells for any amount of time surpassing ten minutes. I think it's much easier and (for me) more natural to be an extrovert when you are excited about the people you're talking to or the information you're talking about; when you're surrounded by friends; when the people you're with are interacting back. And if you're in a group with some people who like to sit back and watch and listen, that's nice too. But it's never fun to be an extrovert when it's a chore.
so that's why you talked so much in youth group :)
I'm feeling it with you. I'm still trying to figure out how I gave birth to an extrovert?? It must be some mutant gene from about 4 generations ago or something.
dramachicks: Yeah, I get what you're saying. I associate being extroverted with naturally being able to talk to anyone anytime. I know it's not as cut and dried as that, but I just find myself in awe when I see how effortless those extroverts make verbal communication look!
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