What If...?

Have you ever wished you could be like somebody else?

That's kind of a silly question; of course you have. If you haven't, tell me your secret!

I've looked at certain types of people before and wanted to be like them. The types of people who never seem to worry. Who take life one moment at a time. Who can make friends with anyone, talk to anyone, figure out anything. And who don't seem to mind what others think of them.

I want to be that person so badly. Instead, I'm stuck with

Worry.

Doubt.

Anxiety.

Low Self-Esteem.

Guilt.

Full disclosure here: I care a LOT what people think of me. I worry that I'm not doing things right, that people are thinking less of me, that I don't know how to behave. I make myself sick over insignificant things, things that I know are stupid but things I can't help obsessing over.

I find myself alone, with the voice inside my head telling me I'll never get it right. Of course no one would accept me. Obviously what I said was stupid. And I'll listen to that voice until my stomach is all twisted and the fear rises in my heart.

In those moments, I must remember who is in control. And it's definitely not me.

Cast your cares on the LORD and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous be shaken. Psalm 55:22

My soul finds rest in God alone; my salvation comes from him. He alone is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will never be shaken. (Psalm 62:1-2)

Fear of others will prove to be a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord is kept safe. (Proverbs 29:25)