Monday, October 10, 2011

Dear Spider,

It's probably too late to apologize at this point.

Seeing as you're smushed up in a piece of toilet paper in my trash can.

But I wanted to explain myself.

I mean, try and put yourself in my position! Minding my own business, walking into my bathroom, when suddenly a spider skitters right in front of me. I mean, I didn't even think; I just stepped!

It helped that I was wearing my sneakers at the time.

I know, I know. You were probably minding your own business, too. But you were heading towards the door! Towards my room! I just couldn't risk it.

Does that make me a bad person? No...

I mean, you're a SPIDER!

Yes, that did sound like an insult. I mean, it was.

This letter isn't turning out the way I'd hoped. I had better just end it now.

With regret,
Laura

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