Cluttered, Untidy, Jumbled, Disorderly Accumulation

Things to do when your room is a mess:

1. Avoid it as much as possible.

2. Keep the lights off so you don't have to look at it.

3. Blame anything and anybody but you.

4. See if you can cross the floor without actually touching it.

5. Put a quarantine sign on your door to avoid unwelcome guests.

6. Throw white sheets over piles for a festive "winter wonderland" look.

7. Use your room as artistic inspiration for a drawing or poem.

8. Watch that tv show about hoarders so you can reassure yourself, "at least I'm not THAT bad."

9. Let out loud, dramatic sighs and hope someone wanders in and offers to organize something for you.

10. Um, clean it.

The March of the Snowmen

Now that Christmas is over, do you know what it's time for?

That's right, the snowmen. This is THEIR time to shine.

Sure, they hung around at Christmas. The most famous one of all was featured all the time on tv. Wrapping paper was decorated with them. And I made cookies with their shape.

But now...they get to stick around. Because hello, it's still winter! You might feel like you have to put the Christmas stuff away, but things with snowmen on them? Leave them out.

Put away the blatantly red and green Christmas plate; leave out the one with the cute snowmen wearing scarves on it.

Put away the stockings; leave out your glass snowman collection.

Put away your Christmas tree earrings; put on your snowman earrings!

"Snowmen aren't Christmas-y; they're seasonal," say women unable to let go of the warm fuzzies of Christmas, crossing their arms protectively over snowmen sweaters. "Snowmen are still allowed!"

Good to know we have rules for this.

Hang in There, Little Buddy

I got a plant for Christmas.

I’m taking him in to work today to put on my desk, but I’m a little concerned.

Previous plants I have owned are no longer with us. I tend to not be very... nurturing. To plants, anyway.

I went through a stage when I was younger where I was trying to find something I was really good at. Like a hobby. Or a hidden skill I would make tons of money from.

So I tried plants. This didn’t end well. I even killed my cactus. How do you kill a cactus?!

So now I have this little Christmas plant who is depending on me for survival. That's frightening. Oh second thought, maybe I better not name him. Or get too attached.

Don't love me, little plant! I'm no good for you!

The Five Stages of Grief: The Library Version

After I get the pleasure of informing a patron of a library fine, the situation usually goes one of two ways.

The patron pays the fine, or the patron progresses through the five stages of grief.

1. Denial: "What? That's not possible. I always bring my books back on time. This is obviously a mistake on your part. I remember the day I brought the books back. It was a Thursday...there is NO way I have a fine."

2. Anger: "You know, this isn't the first time you've been wrong. One time the library said I didn't return a book then someone FOUND IT ON THE SHELF.  No one told me I had a fine. I wasn't notified. And now I have to pay this fine before I can check anything else out? That's completely unreasonable. Is there anyone else I can talk to?"

3. Bargaining: "Come one, now. I've never had a fine before. Can I just check these movies out and worry about the fine later? Give me a break. I just remembered that my child was sick with the flu that day. And there was a snowstorm. And my wallet was stolen. One thing I always appreciate about the library staff is how understanding they are..."

4. Depression: "This day just keeps getting worse. Everything is going wrong. And now I have a library fine. How much is it again? Ugh. Why does this always happen to me? Why is everything going wrong?"

5. Acceptance: "Fine. You know what? I had better just pay it. Here you go: $7.25."

All right, it's not that bad. Out of all of our patrons, only a few have real problems with paying their fines. Most are matter-of-fact about it. They understand that the library is awesome because it's free. They're getting free material, with the understanding that they'll cough up a few dollars if they take advantage of the system and don't return things on time.

But once in a while I get to deal with the patrons who think the library is out to get them. This blog post is dedicated to them.

Post-Christmas, Or, Now What?

The days right after Christmas are kind of like Mondays after weekends. Times a hundred.

You get  kind of confused, like what's work? What's healthy food? What's exercise?

I ate some raw vegetables last night and marveled at the freshness of them. My stomach is like, Where's the butter? Where's the chocolate coating? Where's the whipped cream on top?

I got up this morning and ran. My legs wondered, Where's the couch? Where're the pajama pants? Why are we moving so fast when there're no Christmas cookies ahead of us?

Come on now, you spoiled body! Get back into your routine! Here we go!

Well, my Christmas was lovely and I had a great time with family and friends. The anticipation of Christmas always makes me wild with excitement, so now there's a little getting used to normal life again.

Now comes the tough part. Now we slog through these remaining winter months without Christmas to look forward to anymore.

Time to buckle down and embrace the Monday.

If chocolate helps you deal, so be it. Nothing to be ashamed of.

Merry Christmas!

Happy Christmas Eve, everyone!

My family is making a delicious holiday meal today, and in between the preparations I thought I'd post a quick note because I won't be writing anything tomorrow.

This has been a crazy year for me, but I'm so thankful for my family, friends, job, and my Savior who blesses and provides for His children through the good and the bad.

This time of year is a reminder of the precious gift of Jesus. Because of Him, we can have a personal relationship with a loving God. Now THAT'S a reason to celebrate.

Have a wonderful Christmas!

Organization is My Middle Name. After "Lack of."

Do you ever do the same annoying thing every day and wish you could change and then never do?

Every day when I need a pair of shoes, I cautiously slide open my closet door and peer inside. Every time I need shoes, I hope that they will be sitting neatly on top of all my other pairs.

This never happens.

 I don't really have that many pairs of shoes. I mean, compared to some people. But when I am looking for a particular pair, I end up on my hands and knees tossing shoes over my shoulder looking for not one but BOTH shoes.

I feel like I should be in one of those infomercials. You know, the kind where the scene begins in black and white. I play the grungy, unorganized girl searching through a pile of shoes that come up to her hips.

Do you have trouble finding things when you need them?

Um, yes.

Is your closet a pile of confusion and frustration?

None of your business. Okay, fine. Yes.

Do you need order in your life?

*Sob* What can I DO?

Then you need the Magic Shoe Organizer!

I really should get one of those hanging things you put shoes in. But there's no room in my closet - I have too many clothes already hanging there. Besides, I would just end up throwing my shoes in the closet instead of putting them away. Kind of how I toss earrings beside my earring rack and heap clothes next to my dresser.

I'm a lost cause.

Similar shoe organizers can cost up to $60!

Today and today only, if you call in now, you can receive your Magic Shoe Organizer for the low low price of $39.99! But WAIT! There's more! Call in now and you'll also receive our free gift - a set of 10 handcrafted wooden hangers!

Whatever. Things could be worse.