Friday, April 29, 2011

The Refreshing Library Patron

You came in looking so sad. A woman with a crestfallen look on her face. You said, "I got a letter about my book being late. I'm so sorry! I'll pay the fine right now!"

What?! How refreshing! You mean you're not going to glare at me like I'M the one who:

-lent it to my irresponsible neighbor?
-lost it under my bed for 3 months?
-thought I was so important that at I could just return material when I chose?

Wow, you're nice. You're actually going to apologize for the inconvenience of having to send a letter? You'r not going to demand to speak to the director? Question my intelligence? Ask for proof of the fine so you can catch me in some kind of deception?

No, really, it's okay, nice woman. We're not mad and judgmental, just glad you brought it back! AND, you're going to pay the fine without whining? You're awesome.

Would you please stay at the library forever and be an example to some *ahem* other patrons who don't have your same attitude? Those patrons who think they are entitled to take advantage of the library by arguing over deserved fines? Who think that somehow because our services are free, we should just let you walk all over us?

Mini library rant, here.

Thursday, April 28, 2011

My Invitation Got Lost in the Mail. Whatever.

So, the royal wedding.

I have to admit, I'm not really that crazy about it. In fact, I'm pretty apathetic.

It's not that I don't understand why millions of people are swooning over it. (Well, I don't completely understand....) It's a fairy tale story. It's beautiful and romantic and everyone has accents.

I just haven't bought into the whole thing. I don't care about watching it. Maybe just the highlights on youtube, or something. I'm not going to dress up and cry for joy in front of my television.

I'm not going to buy this limited edition china:

These tea bags:

Or these paper dolls:

Just a quiet, normal day at work. The most I can hope for is that everyone's in a good mood because of the wedding and I won't have any "trouble patrons." Happy Royal Wedding Day, everyone!

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

It Seems a Little Wormish Today

So I went on a walk this morning. Me and about a million worms. Half of which were dead.

I'm glad I decided to walk rather than run this morning, because it would've been a lot harder to sidestep those little guys if I'd been moving quicker.

Even walking, though, I felt like I was playing a game of "don't step on the cracks," worm edition.

And what a variety!

Skinny. Fat. Long. Short. Curled up. Stretched out. Wiggling. Smushed.

I'm making myself a little queasy just writing about them.

Oh, worms. I'm going to try not to think about how you were all surrounding me. Closing in. Squirming around every corner.

Ugh. I'm all for spring rain, but if the rain brings the worms...Less of a fan.

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

A is for Asparagus

I think that asparagus is a pretty classy vegetable. I can't say I've ever really eaten it before this spring, but I've had it a couple times recently, and simply love it!

This has been a hard winter, vegetable-wise. Pretty much just broccoli. And more broccoli. And, hey, here's some broccoli. I can't wait to go to the farmers market again and get some interesting vegetables.

But spring is asparagus-time, apparently. And it is so fresh and delicious! I've been steaming it on the stovetop in a pan of water so it's still a little crunchy.

Now, when I used to think of asparagus, this came to mind:

Or maybe this:

But now, I think of this:

And I feel sort of like a cannibal or something. Thanks a lot, Veggie Tales.

Anyway, asparagus just seems so elegant. Even the name. A-s-p-a-r-a-g-u-s. Ahhh, delightful. So long and green and lovely.

Eat some asparagus today.

Monday, April 25, 2011

Me and Solomon

Hm...I suddenly feel like I understand now.

I know things I've never known before. Scientific formulas pop into my head like, um, popcorn! I can speak French! I can build a coatrack! I am so...wise!

Oops, never mind. It's just my wisdom teeth coming in.

Not going to lie; I'm a little paranoid about these guys. I've heard the horror stories. I've seen the victims. I know what a couple teeth can do to a girl.

"Oh, I know someone who..."

"When I got mine out, I felt like..."

"I didn't even REcognize..."

Swollen cheeks. Liquid diets. Shooting pains. Dentists want those teeth OUT! NOW! Who CARES if you have to lay (lie?) on a couch for a week and drink your dinner through a straw?

I would like to just keep my wisdom teeth, thank you. They're doing just fine where they are.

(Although I keep thinking one in particular is a popcorn kernel. "Get out! Come on, where's my floss... Oh, that's right. Wisdom tooth.")

I should probably get an expert opinion here pretty soon. But for now, I'm going to enjoy my wisdom.

Friday, April 22, 2011

It's Almost Easter! What?

I can't believe it's nearly Easter! I know it's really late this year, but it still snuck up on me. This probably has something to do with the riDIculously chilly weather we've had.

Oh, Easter. So many great memories of sunrise services, Easter egg hunts, and plenty of that fake green grass from Easter baskets.

Easter is such a happy time of year.

It's a reminder of new life, of hope, of Jesus' sacrificial love for us. It makes me want to stand up and sing THIS song, although I could never sing it with this level of cuteness:

I hope that you all have a wonderful Easter with the people you love. And I hope it's filled with chocolate. Specifically, peanut butter eggs. If I eat no other candy besides peanut butter eggs this Easter weekend, I will be satisfied.

See you on Monday!

Thursday, April 21, 2011

It's Your Worst Nightmare

I was at the mall this past weekend. I saw lots of little boys in suspenders and little girls in sundresses. Why? Because they were in line to see the Easter bunny.

When I walked past the elaborately decorated area (was it a house? I didn't really notice.) with a big white picket fence looping around, there was no Easter bunny to be found. He must've been out grabbing a bite to eat or something. So there was just a long line of restless children and determined-looking parents. Waiting.

Thinking about the Easter bunny reminded me of a picture we have in our photo album of me, my sister, and Mickey Mouse. Guess which two out of the three of us were crying? Let me give you a hint: Mickey's smile never wavered.

What is it about huge, dressed-up characters and kids? And not only kids, but adults? If you say you're not even the tiniest bit freaked out by these creatures, you are lying to yourself. I mean, you don't KNOW who's under that costume.

As for the kids, they have seen the Easter bunny on cards. Or Mickey Mouse as a stuffed animal. Or Elmo on tv. All small, harmless, cute best friends. And now, all of a sudden, a 6-foot-tall monstrosity is looming over their little heads, not speaking. Just reaching out its stubby T-rex arms out for - what, a hug? Are you crazy? *Commence crying*

Incidentally, don't google "scary easter bunny" unless you want to bring up images that will probably haunt your worst nightmares. How I wish I could erase the things I saw...

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Aw, I'm Getting All Choked Up

When I feel like taking a risk, living life on the edge, doing something a bit...dangerous...

I eat a piece of hard candy.

Will someone please tell me that I'm not the only one who thinks about choking EVERY. SINGLE. time I eat a mint or a butterscotch or whatever?

Am I alone in wondering what I would do if I started choking? How I would gesture? Who in the library I would ask for help?

Ooh, he seems nice. Which is why I would NOT want him to help me get something un-lodged in my throat. Gross!

She doesn't look strong enough to do the heimlich.

Too old.

Too scary-looking.

What would it feel like to get something stuck in my throat? Maybe I should hold my breath to see what it would feel like. One mississippi. Two mississippi. Three mississippi. Four - *GASP* I'd never make it!

Maybe I just shouldn't eat candy anymore?

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Maybe I Should Take Up Knitting

I am a multitasker. And I love to do things the most efficient way possible.

An example of this is the lazy man's load, seen here. Lazy or efficient? You be the judge.

It's hard for me to just do one thing at a time. This is why I sometimes carry around a rubber band and don't even realize that I'm playing with it.

This is also why it's hard for me to wait. In a line or in a waiting room. Wow, I hate waiting rooms. I will pick up the most random magazine ever so I can feel like I'm doing something. Fishing for Trout? Sure, my favorite.

Now that the weather's nicer (sort of...) I can take more walks outside. Problem is, just taking a walk is hard for me. That's why it's nice to take my phone and talk to a friend or listen to a podcast on my ipod. Because just walking is so unproductive!

I know. I have a problem. There are worse problems, though...

Here's another example. In the library, when I arrange books on a smaller cart to shelve, I arrange them in the order of the library. So I can just make a giant circle around the area. Or so whoever else will be shelving them can. For instance, I put the new books in alphabetical order, then the non-fiction in numerical order (according to the dewey decimal system, of course), then the fiction in alphabetical order, then the mystery, young adult, large print...etc. There will be NO doubling back or retracing steps here, no way!

So I might be found checking out someone's books while cleaning bits of paper off the counter. Watching a YouTube video while organizing my room. Brushing my teeth in the morning while making my lunch. Things like that.

Oh, and you're probably wondering what the title of this post has to do with anything. Well, I just always thought it would be handy to learn how to knit, so I could always carry something "productive" around with me. So I could make a scarf or something so I'm never without anything to do. Right now, I try to carry books around, if they're small enough!

Monday, April 18, 2011





Download now.



Oh, hello there! No, don't mind me. I'm just clicking boxes and giving permission. Just saying I've read all the fine print and agree to the terms.

Well, no. Of course I haven't. Who does? Do you?

I don't think about it often, but once in a while I wonder what it is that I'm agreeing with. I suppose I should just be ready to have something happen that I agreed to.

Of course I read the whole agreement! Though I can't seem to recall the part where I give up my firstborn child... Yes, I do see the box that I checked.... Um, oops.

Obviously, companies have to do this for legal reasons, to be sure their bases are all covered. And I don't agree to download sketchy things, or enter into online agreements with companies I've never heard of.

But still. After I've clicked through seventeen screens to get to what I want, I sometimes reflect on what it is I've actually just done.

Then I just forget about it.


Friday, April 15, 2011

Pinch Me; I Must Be Dreaming

So I have this plant, Neville. I've mentioned him once or twice. Here and there. Just thought I'd give a little update on his life.

Because of, or maybe despite, all the water I dump into Neville all the time, he's gotten pretty tall. He may be trying to go somewhere or reach something, but that's still to be determined.

My plant-saavy coworkers have given me lots of advice for Neville's benefit. They're probably sick of me whining about him always being dry, yet still leaking water out. I try and give him a drink, and he despises me for it...

Anyway, someone told me I should pinch leaves off Neville because he grows so many. If I pinch leaves off, he won't have as many dead ones. Because he can only suck up so much water. And he only has so many leaves. So less leaves means more healthy ones.

So I'm pinching dead leaves off the bottom half of Neville. So that helps him get taller. I always feel a little funny about it, though. What does he feel? If he could look at me, what would his look look like? Is he screaming silent plant screams? Is it just like trimming his toenails? If he had toenails? Am I overthinking this?

I water Neville. I pinch Neville. I speak to Neville. WORK with me here, Neville! I'm doing what I can!

He's got me wrapped around his little finger. Or, little leaf. Root?

Never mind.

Thursday, April 14, 2011

The Scallops Are Raw!

I have a soft spot for cooking shows. From Martha Stewart baking a cake, to amateur chefs battling it out for a prize. I like to watch people make food. And duel in food challenges. And create stunning dishes. And be judged on their risotto. And such.

(Incidentally, one day, I really need to eat risotto. And beef wellington. And pavlova. And other dishes that I now feel ashamed I have not had.)

Caution: Too many cooking shows may result in me hearing Gordon Ramsey yell at me while I'm messing something up in the kitchen. I'm just making an omelette for myself. There's not $100,000 on the line, here. Why am I chopping green peppers in such a frantic way?

After watching cooking shows, I sometimes become inspired to "create my own dish." Because of how daring I am, this is usually something like putting peanut butter chips in the cookies instead of chocolate chips. Woo-hoo.

I like those "boring" cooking shows kind of the same way I like infomercials. They kind of lull me into a haze of relaxation and calmness. But I also get excited about the reality cooking shows. "With only thirty seconds remaining, Jenna still has not plated! And Gary's souffle just collapsed! And Andrew slices open his hand!"

This is probably an appropriate time to bring up Curtis Stone. Tee-hee-hee! Sorry, it's just that it's impossible to mention his name without giggling like a twelve-year-old girl. Thank you, Curtis Stone for making an appearance on pretty much every cooking show. Thank you for being so adorable. And for having that accent. And also, will you marry me?


Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Hello, Squirrel.

Well, I ran outside yesterday morning. For the first time since September? maybe October? Actually, it was still a little chilly yesterday, but I sucked it up. Because that's just what I DO, baby!

My first few steps felt very heavy and hard. Running outside is NOT the same as running on a treadmill. There's no softness on the concrete. Plus, I may run on an incline on the treadmill, but the hills around my neighborhood are a little crazier. So, basically, it was weird to try running outside again.

Something I seem to have forgotten since last time I ran outside is just how many animals there are around here. By "animals," I mean mostly squirrels. And the occasional chipmunk. They are all over the place.

Staring at me intently.

Waiting until I come close before making a run for it.

Popping out from behind every bush, every lamppost, every tree.

Sometimes they are cute. Sometimes they creep me out.

"Stop staring at me, you stupid squirrel! I'm just trying to run, here! What, am I not a good runner? Are you laughing at me? Is that a smirk?"

You've got to be wary when you run outside. With squirrels around every corner, a girl has got to watch her back.

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

I Like You

Hooray for the "like" button! Hooray for non-commitment! (is that a word...?) Hooray for one quick nod of recognition before moving on with my life!

I don't have to comment on your status. On your picture. On your video, note, or relationship status.

If I:
marvel at,
agree with,
laugh at,

I don't have to leave a comment that will be followed by another comment that will be followed by another the extent that I begin to regret that I am even FRIENDS with you.

I can just like it.

Bam! Like.

A quick interaction. A brief moment of understanding between us. A wink, a nod, an "amen," if you will.

I like you. I like what you said. What you did. What you created.

So, thanks for that.


Monday, April 11, 2011

It's a Celebration!

Happy National Library Week, everyone! I'm sure you've all been anticipating this week for quite a while now. Well, it's FINALLY here! Thank you in advance for all the gifts, cards, and chocolate.

Ha! Not sure how the "real world" will respond to this week, but it's big in the library business. There's a contest going on here where you can tweet a "twaiku" about your love for the library for a chance to win a $50 gift certificate to Amazon.

According to the American Library Association, National Library Week was first observed in 1958, with the hope that, if people were motivated to read, they would support their libraries. So not only is this a time to celebrate with dedicated patrons of the library, it's a time to get the word out to those who haven't realized how great the library is. The library needs PEOPLE!

The whole month of April is School Library Month. Tomorrow is National Library Workers Day (who's your favorite? hmm?), Wednesday is National Bookmobile Day (reaching those who can't get to a library), and Thursday is Support Teen Literature Day (I recommend the Hunger Games series by Suzanne Collins. Movies are in the works, but read the books first because they ROCK).

So how can you celebrate National Library Week? Start by supporting YOUR local library. Don't have a card? Get one. Check out the programs. Try something new. Get involved. And encourage others to give libraries a try! Most people have no idea what modern libraries can offer them. Take advantage!

I just have the best job ever! How lucky am I? Happy National Library Week!

Friday, April 8, 2011

Day Off

So I had a day off yesterday. (Because I work Saturday, in case you were wondering.)

And I decided not to blog, because nothing came to my mind to write about. Which actually happens about 95% of the time, until I sit down and make myself think of something... But yesterday I decided to take a break. Writing five days a week gets a little exhausting, to be honest. So hopefully no one was TOO disappointed yesterday. And thanks for coming back, by the way.

So, a day off.

I realized that, since my life is kind of wrapped up in the awesomeness of working at the library, when I have a day off I don't quite know what to do with myself.

I have gone to other libraries on my day off. I have checked my work email on my days off. I have thought about the library on my day off. I have blogged about the library on my day off.

But when I'm not doing library-related things on my day off, I'm cooking and cleaning.

That's right, I turn into some kind of '50s housewife. Though I didn't put on an apron yesterday, it was only because I didn't think of it. Because they are super fun to wear.

My day started late because I got up late and then ran (inside on the treadmill, because there was snow on the ground outside. Grrr.) But after that, I looked up some new recipes online and got to work planning, shopping for, and then creating an elaborate feast for my family.

In case anyone's wondering, here's what I made:

Chicken and Asparagus Fettuccine (with a few modifications)
Wheat rolls (using our bread machine recipe)
Peaches (from a jar, sprinkled with walnuts)
Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Cupcakes (basically the most fantastic thing I've ever put in my mouth)
and frosted with Chocolate Cookie Buttercream Frosting

Beautiful, delicious meal. If I do say so myself. Not only was the food beautiful, but when I make dinner, I have to make sure the table looks good. Although I don't make little flowered place cards like I did when I was eleven, it's the same kind of idea. Being an oldest child, I kind of tend to go overboard.

So anyway, in between preparation for this meal, I was bopping around with my iPod dusting, vacuuming, and generally tidying up. Very satisfying.

The only time I left the house was to go shopping, where I only had to buy three ingredients, but stood there and thought carefully about each one. I think I spend way too much time deliberating in the grocery store aisles. An employee even came up to me and asked me if he could help me make up my mind by describing the difference between pasteurized half and half and ultra-pasteurized half and half. It turns out, I figured it out myself, but it was nice to hear I was right. I like to hear that I'm right...

So that was my day off. Pretty wild, I know. And this was a long post, comparatively speaking. Well, now you can feel like you didn't miss out too much with that whole "no posting" thing yesterday.

You're welcome. all I need is a man...

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

It's the Simple Things

You know when you open a new jar of peanut butter? You're the first one to dig your knife or spoon (or finger?) into that fresh, untouched pile of goodness. There's something extremely satisfying and enjoyable about that first dip into the peanut butter.

Sometimes, it's the simple things in life that just make me happy. Like the birds singing. Such brave little things. They must realize that it's a little colder than usual, but they just let loose and celebrate anyway. I'm sure I'll take this for granted in a few weeks when I get sick of birds in the morning when I'm trying to sleep, but for now it's just simply wonderful.

In the library, when new books come in, I have to go root through them and check them out. Can't keep my hands OFF those new books! Shiny covers, bright titles, favorite authors...what could be better?

As soon as the weather cooperates, I'm running right out and having a picnic. Summer food can be simple and delicious - fruits and vegetables, meat on a grill. Time to put away all the casseroles and soups and comfort food. Let's freshen things up!

So these are some random things that make me happy. Simple things.

Here're some more: hugging babies, baking cookies, blowing bubbles, running (when I actually feel like it), drinking green tea, talking with friends, singing along, walking barefoot in the grass, hiking with my family...

It's the simple things.

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Rain, Rain, Come and Stay

Who'd have thought I'd love rain so much? Aaaaand, sometimes I don't.

But spring rain? Ah. Spring rain I love.

Goodbye, snow. May you NOT show your unwelcome face around here until December. Because that recent snowstorm was just inappropriate.

No one had better complain about the rain when I'm around, because I am so happy that spring is here!

Spring rain:
1. Smells good.
2. Sounds good.
3. Isn't cold, or mixed with snow.
4. Makes flowers grow!

Hooray for spring rain! And even though some may call it gloomy outside, the wind is warmer and the birds don't seem to mind too much!

Aaah yes, drink it in. The sun will be out soon. But for now, I'm enjoying the rain.

Monday, April 4, 2011

They Are Coming

Well, spring is closer than ever before, I'm pleased to report. Right now, I'm listening to birds outside my window. And. I. LOVE IT!

However, there are some birds I've seen lately that I'm not so happy to see back. Birds that have been flying back north. Birds that travel in big, scary flocks. Birds that are big. Smelly. Loud.


I consider myself a pretty brave person. I mean, I'm usually at the very least able to fake it. But the geese can always tell that I am pretty stinkin' scared of them.

The college that I went to has a pond. It's really pretty in the spring and summer - nice to walk around, sit by, take pictures of... But this pond is also home to stupid, ugly geese.

I would be walking around the pond on my way somewhere, and I would come upon this gang of geese. If they were people, they would've been smoking. Leaning up against a wall, looking threatening. Smashing bottles. That sort of thing. But they're geese. They PROBABLY weren't armed. So they just stare, hiss, and then run at you.

I'm not scared. I'm not scared. They're just geese. I'm a person. I'm bigger. Stronger. Faster. Wait - I'm not sure. How strong and fast ARE they? Don't look, don't look...just keep walking. Was that a hiss...don't they come! Okay, now I give myself permission to RUUUUUUN!

So I'm not glad to see the geese back. Strutting around like they own this whole town. Well guess what, geese? You weren't around for the tough times. The months and months of cold and snow and misery. You just flew away and followed the party. Cowards.

Ugh. I hate geese.

Friday, April 1, 2011

April Fools' and Stuff

Possible April Fools' Tricks to Play on Patrons at the Library:

1. Tell people who don't have a fine that they have one. (And be mean about it.)

2. Tell people who have a fine that their account has been cleared by an anonymous person. (Then laugh at them when they come back another day.)

3. Explain to people that they now have to pay to rent movies and books. "Libraries aren't what they used to be, buddy!"

4. And if they complain, look around quickly, give them their items in a paper bag, and tell them to "make a run for it!"

5. Tell quiet people to "Shhhhhhhh!"

6. Tell loud people to "speak up, we're in a library for goodness sakes!"

7. When everyone comments on the snow that's currently falling, say, "What snow? It's spring!" Insist that there is no snow falling. Because there's NOT.

8. Act like a robot. Put up a sign that says that, since people seem to think that ANYone can do a librarian's job, we've just been replaced.

9. Run through the aisles screaming and pulling books off the shelves. See how far you can get before you are tackled to the floor by a well-meaning patron.

10. Hide behind the book drop slot and grab patrons' hands as they try to return books.

Well, these certainly sound like fun, but I have a certain reputation at the library that I'd like to maintain. And it doesn't involve lying and acting like a maniac. To be honest, April Fools' Day isn't really one of my favorite days. Facebook is a mess. People act all goofy. And I'm always jealous that I'm not creative enough to do anything good...

I hate chocolate!

April Fools'.

Whew, that's over with.