iWant to Scream

The other day I was working with the iPad for over an hour.

Frustrating. I had to-

walk around the library several times to pick up the best Wi-Fi signal, since it's not that great back in the office.

type in a crazy-long password what seemed like a million times before finally changing it to something shorter.

change multiple settings since someone had messed them up.

uninstall an app. try and reinstall it (sounds simpler than it ended up being).

wait. and wait. and wait.

use Google. a lot.
Why does technology make me want to "lash out irrationally"? (Bonus points if you know where that comes from...)

I get so mad! The rest of the library staff was laughing at me as I paced and talked to myself. Yes, there was also chocolate involved; not gonna lie.
Why is technology so frustrating? I usually keep a cool head. I don't get obviously angry or feel like throwing things unless I'm fighting with technology (or with someone I really love. Go figure.)

Maybe it's because I feel so helpless. Those times when my computer has had viruses or other issues, I've broken down in tears because I didn't know what else to try and I hated leaving problems unresolved.

Okay, pity party over. I troubleshooted and figured out what to do to the iPad (not chuck it out the window), and I think I learned a few things.

One thing being, make sure you have Google and chocolate readily available when dealing with a technological crisis.

Crazy Days, Part 1

What. A. Day.

Two days, actually. This is going to be a two-parter, so hold on to your socks, people. Lots to say!

Today and yesterday have been sort of, well, chaotic. I'm going to divide the events into two parts, the first of which we'll cover today.

1. Technological disasters

2. Natural disasters

Yesterday morning, we swung open the doors of the library to welcome our in our beloved patrons. Meanwhile, in another part of town, the server for all the county libraries crashed. Commence frenzied printing-up of warning signs ("Basically, we can't help you with much today because our computers are down. Feel free to make as many sarcastic 'depending too much on technology' comments as you'd like. Have a nice day.").

So it was a morning fraught with frustration. Teeming with tension. Well, not really. I kind of had fun with the fact that we had such a different kind of morning. I sort of like the craziness. Keeps things interesting. And patrons were, for the most part, understanding.

Then I got home. And I got on MY computer. And all of a sudden, I was not laughing at technology; I was weeping.

Google, my trusted ally, had betrayed me. Somehow I had picked up a virus, and Google kept leading me to sketchy ads. I didn't understand that it was a virus at first, but then I noticed other things on my computer going crazy. And my virus scanner wouldn't open. And strange messages popped up. And I spent three hours staring in anguish at my computer screen, wondering if chocolate would cure it the way it always had me...

My computer is broken. And with it, my life. Not really. But sort of. I'm praying it's fixable, but for now all I can do is find other ways of filling my spare time. Wait - what did people do before computers again?

Soon to come - Crazy Days, Part 2, or Natural Disasters: Who is Shaking My Car?

Shout-out to my "flatmate" for letting me use her laptop to post this!

Read This. Good Luck.

As one of the more "technically-savvy" library workers, I'm often asked by patrons for help on the computers.

Anything from Facebook, setting up email, Googling...I've even typed up an email for someone in Spanish (he had it written out).

I find that the hardest thing to help with...the most confusing...the most frustrating...

it's the word verification box.

SERIOUSLY. Yahoo mail is the worst at this. The patron and I will be squinting at the screen at letters and numbers so welded together that it's nearly impossible to read it. In fact, it IS sometimes impossible. We'll keep refreshing the page to see if we can get something halfway legible.

I guess it's because "they" want real people signing up for email. But guess what? Real people can only squint their eyes and furrow their brows so much. Drives me bananas.

Helping people on the computers is tricky enough without places like Yahoo mail making it even worse. I'm sitting there with a person who has used a computer maybe twice in her life, trying to help her set up an email account or explaining the concept of double-clicking or introducing the wonders of Google. I'm already on edge because I grew up knowing this stuff. How am I supposed to explain it when I can't even remember how I learned?

Anyway. Here: Try these on for size.

Don't Follow Me

I am directionally challenged.

I find my way by turning down streets that "feel right" or looking for "the big tree on the corner" as a landmark.

So when a person comes into the library asking for directions, I freeze, wonder if I should pretend I'm new to the area, and then bring up Google on the computer.

Oh, Google. Have I told you lately...?

Google Maps is the best. thing. ever. I type in the location, and then spin the computer screen around so the person can see and it and I explain the route like obviously I know how to get there, I just thought the visual would be helpful.

Thank you, Google Maps, for helping me appear capable.

Yes, I have gotten lost in large stores before. I get turned around and things look the same. They say to stay in the same place when you're lost, but I will eventually find my way out if I keep spinning around, alternately running and casually walking, and pointing in random directions purposefully.

So please don't ask me any questions about the area I live in. Refer to streets by the stores or restaurants on them, not according to their actual street names.

You know what would probably be helpful? Those big, colorful signs with pictures like they have in the zoo. "BEAVER" with a picture of a beaver. "MONKEYS" with a picture of monkeys. Thank you! I need my own personalized signs. "RANDOM PERSON'S HOUSE YOU'VE NEVER BEEN," "GROCERY STORE YOU ALWAYS FORGET THE TURN FOR," etc.

Well, getting there is all about the journey, right? Or something like that.

An Ode to Google

Thank you, Google....

• For knowing me so well, you can finish my sentences.
• For allowing me to appear omniscient in front of older library patrons who don’t know what Google is ("Yes, that series has five books in it; allow me to list them in order for you along with their dates of publication").
• For reminding me of obscure holidays by dressing up your logo ("Oh, well Happy Dr. Seuss's Birthday to you too, Google!").
• For helping, not judging, when I spell something wrong accidentally (Search instead for...).
• For being a legitimate verb.
• For giving me answers to my questions in seconds.
• For giving me pictures of celebrities so I don’t get them confused with each other.
• For letting me look up websites instead of actually typing them in (Ex: Wikipedia, Amazon, etc..).
• And, for having an infinite number of O’s, allowing for multiple pages of results.