Grown-Up

Sometimes I'll be talking with someone and I'll sort of have an out-of-body experience.

I'm talking to an adult.

I am an adult.

I'm having an adult conversation.

Like, the kind my parents have. Like the kind they always had when I was bored and wanted to go home and play Barbies.

Whoa, did I just make a corny joke about the weather? Why am I talking about "kids these days"? Surely everyone will know I'm just a twelve-year-old in a twenty-three-year-old's body as my mouth (without my brain's approval) has now changed the subject to... wait, grocery store sales? Who am I?

Is this just me? When I was younger, I thought everyone older than me knew what they were doing. Now, I keep catching myself being surprised that I'm doing grown-up things like making small-talk with strangers. I thought things would be different...

But I sort of have the feeling that I won't be ready to be sixty, either.

Mom Day

Happy Mother's Day to all you moms out there!

I'm very grateful to my mom for her years of love, protection, wisdom, creativity, advice, help, and all-around awesomeness.

In celebration of moms, I had to look up this video again. It's a classic; enjoy!

May I Live With You?

So sometimes I'll be out shopping or whatever, and I'll hear other people's conversations.

I listen, because I can't help it. And because I love it.

And people are always talking about what they're going to do next. Like, when they're done shopping.

And when it's a mom with her kids, a lot of the time she will be pumping them up for doing something fun after shopping.

Do you know where I'm going with this?

Yes, I get jealous of what the kids get to do after shopping.

"Guess what, kids? We're going for pizza!"
"We're going to the movies!"
"I'm going to get us all ice cream!"

Excuse me? Some of us are trying to shop!

Also, will you please adopt me?

Xtreme Library Workout

Get up!

That's right - I'm talking to you! Put down your bag of chips and get up! It's time to sweat, tone, and strengthen...in the librarian workout!

Now, I'm sure some of you are thinking that librarians are pretty sedentary. Not so. At MY library, you get a workout.

So let's do this! Take off your cardigan, put your glasses on top of your head, and let's do the librarian workout:

1. The Book Squat: Of course the book you need to shelve is on the bottom shelf. It seems like they all are, sometimes. No matter, use those glutes to stick that book right where it belongs, according to the dewey decimal system. And one and two and three and four!

2. The Literary Lunge: Whether you're carrying a large stack of DVDs or arranging material on the holds shelf, you are bound to lose your balance. In such occasions, simply lunge to grab falling items. This is a library, so you can't let too many things hit the ground at once. And don't forget to follow-through!

3. The 10-Shelf Dash: Pick up your pace, swing those elbows, and stride through the library. Don't forget to walk by the gang of unruly teenagers "doing homework," the sketchy guy at the computers, and the kid eyeing the spinning rack of periodicals. There's nothing like a brisk walk around the joint to remind everyone that you've got your eye on things.

4. The Chair Hover: Picture this: you just helped a patron at the desk and are now heading back to the office to sit down and continue working on that program flyer. But just before you hit the seat, another patron steps up to the desk. (How do they time it like that?) Engage your lower half and pick yourself back up before your butt even TOUCHES that seat.

5. The Cruisin' Cart: Do your library muscles still need a little help, even after hefting all those books? Give the book cart a push! After you've loaded it, of course. My dream is to one day be able to ride a cart through the library, but that's unfulfilled currently. Want to know how many times I've thought about doing that? 75. Oh - 76.

Hope you enjoyed a taste of the active life of a librarian. Don't forget to stretch!

Pardon My Limbs

I have long legs.

Sometimes, I feel like everywhere I try to sit I have to worry about folding my legs up somewhere out of the way. I need my leg room.

At the movie theater, I love to put my feet up on the chair in front of me. Don't judge; it's not like I'm scuffing my shoes all over it. My ankles just rest on the top, feet crossed. Oh, it's so comfortable to have my legs stretched out!

It's always tricky, though, strategically picking the perfect spot to sit so no one will sit in front of me and thwart my plans.

This brings me to last night. I went with some friends to see The Avengers and at first all was perfect. No one was in front of me and I found the perfect position to relax.

Then, things started deteriorating. The empty seat on the right side of me was taken over by some random guy with a beard who totally stole my arm rest. He just edged his way onto it and I decided it wasn't worth it to have our arms touching... no thank you!

So, bitter about that but still relieved my feet were up, I settled down and started watching the previews. Before a couple came and sat, that's right, directly in front of me. Bummer. I mean, there were other seats in the place, people! Not my fault you came rolling in late!

I started getting antsy. This was going to be a long movie, and this girl needed to put her giraffe legs somewhere! Luckily, my understanding friend sitting on the other side of me felt my pain, and she shifted so I could put my feet up diagonally.

I had to adjust a couple times throughout the film as my legs got sore, but all in all I was satisfied.

Oh, and the movie was good too.

T-Shirt Critique

So, you know that awkward moment when you stare at people's torsos to read what they have written on their shirts?

And you try not to stare, but you really need to read it because you can't help being curious. Because maybe you're the type of person who reads everything they see.

And besides, it's not your fault if people wear those kinds of shirts. Especially ones that have tiny writing. Apparently they just want attention.

The worst is reading a shirt and then realizing it's some kind of insult to you, the reader. You're just reading, is that a crime? It's not your fault you have to squint and bob and weave.

Or, after all that work of trying to stare at a person's chest without them realizing it and the shirt isn't even that interesting. It's just a private band joke or something.

What....does....it...say...?

Look -
look away.

Look -
look away.

Oh, forget it.

It's More of an Art Form, Really.

Yesterday I spent some time reading shelves.

How much time? Not sure. Time has no meaning "in the stacks".

In a public library, books get touched a lot. Shuffled around. Picked up and stuck back in the wrong spot. And hey, that's okay. Sort of. We want people to be using the books; that's what they're there for. Unfortunately, we also want books to be in their proper place. Do you know what it's like to look up a book on a computer and have it say it's on the shelf, then take the patron to the shelf and not be able to find it? Awkward. We have to be able to find the books in their proper spots.

That's where shelf reading comes in.

Shelf reading is reading the spine label of each book to make sure everything is in order. Fiction books are arranged in alphabetical order by the author's last name. Nonfiction books are arranged according to the dewey decimal system.

So you stand there and examine each book. Yes, it's tedious. But it's also gratifying. Some of those nonfiction sections just get so messed up. And once a few are out of order, more books are shelved out of order.

I get into a kind of rhythm there, reading and straightening and becoming hypnotized with the numbers. No time to think or worry about life, just time to process the numbers. It's a beautiful thing.

And when I can look back and see the rows of books that I've correctly arranged, it gives me a great feeling of satisfaction. Sure, it will all just get messed up again. But for a brief time, it's all right.

Perfect.