Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Do You Smell That?

If books and movies are returned to the library with a foul odor, it's because of one of two things.

-lots of cats

-lots of smoking

Those stinks stick around, is all I'm saying.

I'll be casually walking towards the book drop, innocent and carefree. I get closer, reach out my hands, and WHAM.

Are you kidding me right now?!

At this point, my choices are:

-stop breathing, dig the material out, and figure out some way to clean it

-drop my arms, back away slowly, and pretend I never saw it. perhaps whistling softly will help...

Gross. Gross, gross, gross, gross.

If you have fifteen cats? Come on. We can tell. Everyone around you can tell. One should not. have. that. many. cats. And if you do have a bunch of cats (a gaggle? a herd?), don't borrow things that don't belong to you and make them smell bad. Thanks for that.

If you're a smoker? Ugh. I'm sure you don't notice anymore, but everything you touch now smells. It makes me want to cough obnoxiously in your face. I'm sorry you can't stop, but I wish you hadn't started. Why are people still doing this to themselves? Haven't you seen the pictures? This is a healthy lung. This is a smoker's lung...

It's just a shame that people can't return material in the condition they took it out. Because of their SMELL.

We at the library know who you are, fyi. We try to clean up your mess, and sometimes we charge you. And that's an awkward conversation, believe me.



Okay, okay. Rant over. There will be a more fun blog post on Friday. Pinky promise.

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