Explain This, Young Person!

Ugh. EBooks.

I mean, hooray for reading and everything, but eReaders are not my thing. (For more on this, see an earlier post of mine: In My Day, a Nook Was the Corner Where You Read a Book.)

Unfortunately, it appears that they are taking over my life.

Because, guess what? Everyone and their mother received an eReader for Christmas. At the library this week, we who are "special" enough to be on the Digital Support team were bombarded with emails.

"My grandchildren just gave me a Kindle for Christmas and I'm not very good with computers..."

Ahhh! Now I get to help everybody figure out their eReader issues! I have successfully downloaded eBooks from our library catalog to both a Kindle and a Nook. I've even created instructions for library patrons to use. But if something goes wrong, I'm stuck.

If all goes well, it's very simple. But when I'm on the phone with "Bob," for twenty minutes, trying to figure out an error message without seeing anything he's doing, it can get frustrating.

It's flattering to know that people have this blind faith in me as a young person. They think, obviously I know what I'm doing. And I must confess, I do speak in a very confident tone. Really, though, I could say almost anything.

"Ah yes, your ecatalog system is not compatible with the Internet feed of your source code. The informational vortex appears to be scrambled. This is beyond my expertise!"

Full disclosure: I don't know what I'm doing. And I don't like eReaders. However, I will help you because it's my job. And I am nice. And I love books. And I love that people are reading.

So let's do this!

Year in Review

I lived through 2011.

I heard the sordid celebrity news, saw tragedy on the television screen, listened to the latest hits on the radio, read the magazine interviews.

Do I want to hear all of that again from magazines, tv shows, and newspapers? Um, no.

I get so annoyed by the "year in review" specials this time of year. The BEST! The WORST!

There are no surprises. I've heard it all before. I don't want to relive 2011. Sure, it was a good year. But I don't care what the best movies were. I saw the ones I wanted to. I don't care who gained the most followers on Twitter. Good for them I guess...

Let's press on towards the new year! Sure, this one flew by like Harry Potter on his Firebolt, but it's time to get excited about 2012!

What are you looking forward to the most this coming year?

2012

And Christmas is over. The food is eaten. The presents opened. The Christmas music wiped from all radio stations (It should definitely be on another week...).

Now we'll start seeing Christmas trees kicked to the curb. Along with ribbons, wrapping paper, cardboard boxes, and fruitcakes.

Christmas is over. But I am still partying! I have a couple more days off work, and I plan on enjoying them, thank you very much. In fact, I am eating chocolate right now. That's RIGHT, beore lunch! That's how I roll.

This week is the end of 2011, so let's pause and listen to "Auld Lang Syne."



Niiiice.. By the way, is 2012 really coming up already?

What is the deal?

I'm still writing 2010 on things. I haven't even gotten used to 2011.

Now I have to write 2012? Where did this year go, I ask?

What did I accomplish? Where have I been? Where am I going?

Hooray for the end of the year, when we can be filled with inadequacy and look forward to a new year where maybe we'll do that thing we always wanted to do.

I'm already a member of the gym, so I'm definitely ahead of the game on that one.

Any New Year's resolutions you need to accomplish this week? Quick!

Christmastime is Here

Aaaaah! Christmas!
Hope everyone has had a magical time leading up to this spectacular day. You only get to do some things once a year:

-Get to read lots of different Christmas cards. Yes, we know your child is an accomplished genius...Wow - thanks for sharing all your issues!...Who ARE these people, anyway??

-Get to sing loudly in public without people wondering why. "JOY TO THE WOOOOOORLD!"

-Get to watch lots of heartwarming movies and cry! Unless you do that year-round, in which case, pace yourself.

-Get to eat a LOT of food in the name of tradition. "These calories don't count! It's Christmas!" "Of course I'll try the dessert you made! It's Christmas!" We at the library feel very appreciated this time of year, when our beloved patrons shower us with baked goods and boxes of chocolate. Especially boxes of chocolate. I just pick out the coconut ones.


-Get to see people you only see during the holidays! Enjoy it. Stay up late, get out of your routine, and enjoy it. You can sleep in January...



-Get to go to church on Sunday on Christmas Day! No, this doesn't happen every year. But it's pretty special that it happens this year. Give me some old Christmas hymns and let's celebrate the birth of Jesus! Woo-hoo!

To all my faithful readers (even the ones in Saudi Arabia and Czech Republic who accidentally stumbled upon this blog...), Merry Christmas! Thanks for reading! May your weekend be filled with joy.

Jimmy Stewart, and Other Favorite Christmas Things

Jimmy Stewart.

Just let that name sink in for a moment. Consider his greatness.

What a guy! My favorite movie with him is, of course, It's a Wonderful Life. After that, Mr. Smith Goes to Washington and The Shop Around the Corner. Black and white is the way to GO!
I would marry Jimmy Stewart. If he wasn't married. And, you know, dead.

He's one of my favorite parts of Christmas! Check out this clip of my favorite Christmas movie. Then, check out some of my other favorite Christmas things.




1. Watching It's a Wonderful Life. Swooning over Jimmy Stewart.
2. Watching White Christmas. Singing along.
3. Christmas Eve service at my church. Especially at the end when we all hold candles and sing Silent Night. Beautiful time of celebrating the birth of my Savior.
4. Decorating for Christmas. Hanging up ornaments, stockings, lights. Setting up the nativity scene. I used to spend hours playing with my family's nativity scene. It got pretty creative.
5. Baking Christmas cookies. While listening to Christmas music. And wearing a Christmas apron. And using Christmas cookie cutters!
6. Enjoying the first snowfall around Christmas. Pure magic.
7. Singing aloud to Christmas music playing anywhere. There's something about Christmas music that makes people less self-conscious...everyone can sing along!
8. Buying presents for people. Picking out just the right gift makes me so happy! And then of course wrapping them is fun too. Except my gift-wrapping skillz are pretty limited. Picture a lot of tape.
9. Looking at Christmas lights. When I was younger, my sister and I would "count the Christmas lights" on either side of the car while we were riding in the back seat.
10. Spending more time with family and friends. My besties come in from out of town and I get to hug them and hang out as much as possible!

Peering Up at the Sky. Bitterly.

Um, excuse me?

I'd like to file a formal complaint.

Against Christmas movies.

Listen, I love 'em. I love the magic. The romance. The saving of Christmas. The wonder and joy of the children. The conflict ending in resolution over a glass of eggnog and a plate of cookies. The SNOW...

That's right. The snow. In every. single. Christmas. movie. Even if everyone goes to bed on Christmas Eve with no snow on the ground, there's ALWAYS snow when they wake up.

Every time I say how much I want snow on Christmas, everyone around me shares their expert weather information. "Nope. No snow in the forecast." "We're going to have a Green Christmas."

Green Christmas?? Can there be two more depressing words? It's a cold, green, grinchy Christmas. Thanks a lot, Christmas movies. Thanks for raising my hopes only to dash them in a muddy puddle.

I want to wake up to some magic! Is that too much to ask?



No snow on Christmas is like no icing on gingerbread cookies. Whaaaat?

What Are You in For?

So yesterday I got to hang around a waiting room.

Awkward!

I had to go back to the oral surgeon so they could check out the pathetic gummy gaps where my wisdom teeth used to be. And make sure they were healing okay and such.

I walked in, and the place was packed. There were a few people standing, so after I checked in I went straight over to that huddle. Then I noticed there were about three empty chairs scattered about.

Let's see....do I want to sit next to the sleeping kid? No. The sullen teenager? No.The scary-looking bearded man? Definitely not. So I stood. And stood. And stood.

And got mad at myself for not bringing anything to do! What kind of librarian doesn't bring a book with her to these sorts of things?

Waiting in a waiting room is so awkward, because I never know where to look. I certainly don't want to make eye contact with anyone. But at the same time I need to check everyone out. People-watch.

So my eyes are darting around every couple of seconds, only to meet up with other people's eyes doing the same thing.

Maybe I should just stare down at the floor...

Then after a while the room started clearing out and I snagged a prime seat right by the table full of magazines. Then I got to read about Oprah's favorite things for a while, until I was called in.

After 45 minutes waiting, my actual appointment consisted of the dentist looking inside of my mouth and saying everything looked good. It lasted less than a minute. I am not exaggerating. I barely even sat down.

So yay for healing wisdom teeth! And the awkwardness of waiting rooms!

Frosty Is Dead

There are few sights sadder on a cold winter morning than deflated Christmas inflatables.

In the evenings, when it's dark and frosty and magical, these inflatables are, well.... Okay, honestly I'm not a fan of inflatables. But at least when they're blown up they can be kind of cute. Especially the snowglobe ones.

And when you're driving around the wealthy neighborhoods with the big houses to see their ritzy outside displays (what, am I the only one? whatever.), everything looks so perfect in the darkness. The lights, the candles, the wreaths. The reindeer slooooowly raising up their heads. Then slooooowly dropping them back down. Then slooooowly raising them up. Aaaand, well, you know.

And then in the morning? The magic is gone. It's almost embarassing to see those piles of plastic wrapping in a heap. It's like they're naked, lying there. And who wants to see the reindeer that have blown over? Come on, people, get outside and make this stuff presentable!

I found an old blog post that I wrote last year about the five types of houses decorated for Christmas. It's pretty good, honestly. I think you should take a look by clicking here.



Tonight, take a spin around and see some good Christmas decorations! Just keep your eyes straight ahead tomorrow morning. Trust me. It's not pretty.

All Gone.

Aaaand, they're out.

I have no more wisdom teeth. And let me say, it's nice to not have to worry about them any more.

The actual surgeon's visit is kind of a blur. The surgeon was, like, "You'll start feeling a little strange," and I was like, huh, I do feel a little strange and then I was awake with blankets on me. In a different room. Where I then proceeded to have conversations that I only sort of remember, like in a dream.

Monday was pretty weird, as I was numb all day and had to keep gauze in my mouth. Which made it hard for me to speak. And I got to change bloody gauze, which, not gonna lie, was pretty gross. Reason #728 that I'm not in the medical field.

Then Tuesday I woke up and wasn't numb anymore. I was sore. And swollen. And hungry. It's strange not being able to really bite into things. Makes me feel like I'm not really eating. I mean, I'm all for Jell-O, pudding, and yogurt, but I'm craving a steak!

Then Wednesday I was just kind of grouchy. Moving around seemed like such an ordeal, it was better to just recline dramatically on pieces of furniture and stare into the distance, moaning quietly.

And yesterday, Thursday, I was back at work! I was a little cloudy in the morning (yay for pain meds!), and pretty sore when I ate lunch (IF you can call it eating...), but on the whole it was nice to be back to real life.

I can think of worse ways to spend a couple days than lounging with blankets in front of the TV, eating soft foods. On the whole, I'd give the whole experience a solid B.

However, now I'm ready to be done. I'm ready to not have such a square-looking jaw. To not have to remember to take medicine. To not have to say no to crunchy/pokey/hard/delicious foods. To not bleed whenever I try to brush my teeth and to not have to feel weird stitches with my tongue.

Okay, pity party's over! Have a nice weekend, friends! And if you haven't had your wisdom teeth out yet, don't worry. It wasn't that bad. It just made for an interesting blog post.



Also, thank goodness I was out the whole time. I don't really want to know what they had to do to me to get those suckers out.

But I LIKE Them...

Oh, the good old days. When I was wise.

I certainly hope I used my wisdom to the best of my ability. I'm definitely glad I'm done with school.

Because the source of my wisdom will be ripped out of me tomorrow.

Yes, I'm speaking of my wisdom teeth.

Back in April, I posted about wisdom teeth. Back then, I thought maybe I could just keep them forever. No such luck. (Read that post here.)

So now they're coming out. And of course, when people find out they're coming out, they have to share their stories. What is it about wisdom teeth that makes everyone want to share their stories? "Nah nah nah nah naaaaahhhh! I'm not listening to your weird wisdom teeth stories!"

So that's why I'm posting today instead of tomorrow. Not sure when I'll post next. I may be too busy lounging around feeling sorry for myself to write anything. Who really knows?

Of course, I have to share this now.



Aaaand, the remix!



Wish me luck!

I'm Blind! I'm Blind! Oh, Wait.

Sometimes I do things without thinking.

I get into this automatic rhythym of doing things the same way all the time, and I'll get easily thrown by something simple.

Sometimes, when I put my contacts in, I leave my glasses someplace unexpected. Someplace I might not remember later.

Then later, I'll take out my contacts, and this is what goes through my head.

Whoa. Sometimes I forget my eyes are this bad.

I literally can't see the hand in front of my face. (waves hand around in front of face. gets momentarily distracted trying to see things.)

Okay, glasses.

Glasses, glasses, where are you...?

Oh, great.

I'm standing here blind and don't remember where I put my glasses (starts feeling around counters and sinks to find glasses. Wanders into several rooms, arms outstretched, trying to sense where the glasses are.)

How many times am I going to do this before I just keep my glasses in one place?

I am an idiot.

Hey, happy Friday everyone! And happy second day of December! You know what this means? Christmas blog posts! Get excited.